The Right Kind of Friend
by LitRaptor42
Summary: I personally think that if Sheik were actually female, Link's world would implode. Here's a few chapters why. Formerly published as "Heterophobia": I was getting a lot of confusion over the title.
1. An Awkward Encounter

This is a tribute to my friend Mike, who came back from MBLGTACC in Indiana and started talking about Link's sexual orientation, or rather lack thereof. This is what you get, dear. *facepalm*

In the words of Katie Tiedrich: "Ho ho nobody likes Ruto." There will be more chapters.

I don't own Ocarina of Time any more than I own Fire Emblem yay boo disclaimer.

* * *

Chapter One: Awkward Encounter

* * *

"Come ON!" I said, flitting around his head. "We have to go see Princess Zelda now!"

He just waved me away - or rather, splashed me away: he was swimming for his life towards the cave that led back to Zora's Domain, and either one arm had flailed higher to chase me off, or maybe it was just a spasm of terror. But since that was the direction I wanted him to go anyway, I just paused to shake off my wings and kept following him without a complaint.

That horrific fish-girl was still following us, though, alternately trying to get Link's attention ("Yoo-hoo! Wait up!") and swimming furiously to catch up. Finally she gave up and swam ahead, zipping through the water like... well, like a fish.

As Link climbed out of the water she leapt up before him, batting her eyelashes and doing her best to look attractive. "Don't forget, future husband!" she called, as he ran sideways, hugging the cave wall. "Come back when you're done talking with the princess! I won't tell my father that you're my fiance yet!"

Link made a noise somewhere between a groan and a whimper, and I snickered to myself as we fled past King Zora and he dove down the waterfall. I shouldn't have been laughing, but it was just impossible not to. She was the scariest female I'd ever seen, including Zelda's terrifying Amazonian bodyguard. And that was saying a lot.

It was Link's stupid fault, of course, for letting her boss him around like that in the whale's belly. We could've easily found that stupid Sacred Stone on our own, just like we'd done in the Dodongo's Cavern. But no, he'd had to let her tell him what to do to find the stone. Even though I was just a fairy, I was a lot wiser about other females than I let on to Link. From the second he'd first picked her up over his head, Link had been Ruto's property - at least in her head.

I followed the boy up a ladder and out of Zora's Domain; he was moving so fast that I could hear him panting with the effort. "Link, we're okay! She's not behind us anymore!" I said, but I didn't think he'd heard me. I wasn't sure if he was still running from Ruto, or if his panic had merely gotten the better of him, and we would have to escape the river area altogether before he got ahold of himself.

It turned out the latter was at least partially right. As we swam down the river and out onto Hyrule Field, he collapsed on the grass, wheezing and glassy-eyed. "Hey! You okay?" I demanded as I flitted down to his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't have an aneurysm on the spot.

"Yeah," he said tartly, between gasps. "I... hate girls."

"Thanks," I said, as dryly as possibly.

He shook his head, grinning. "Not... not girl fairies, Navi. Just... girls. They're weird." I was about to remark that Zelda was a girl, too, and he'd seemed to like her fine, when he got up from the grass, leaning over for only a minute, and started jogging towards the castle. "Come on!"

Irked by him using what was usually my line, I just followed. I really, really couldn't blame him for acting like this. That Zora girl had been just creepy, much creepier than any of the Kokiri girls ever were. I couldn't believe she'd actually mentioned marriage to a ten-year-old boy. Especially Link, the kid who could barely string ten words together to save his life. His face had been so red I thought he was going to combust.

And then there was the way she'd forced it, too. Not only had she insisted that the only way to give Link the stupid Sapphire was for them to be engaged... but then she'd practically extorted a promise out of him to come back and marry her the instant he got back from the castle! I shivered, dropping in the air a little as my wings missed a beat. The image of her twining her slippery arms around his neck like that... then rubbing her little operculum against his face... Ugh! Even I was going to have nightmares.

Poor Link. He ran onwards, little legs churning to get to the castle as fast as possible. Thank the goddesses that Zelda, at least, would act like a princess, and conduct herself decently.


	2. Hylian Girls Wear the Pants

This chapter operates upon the principle that no one wants to do what Navi tells them to.

* * *

Chapter Two: Hylian Girls Wear The Pants… Figuratively, Of Course

* * *

I helped Link dust himself off as he got up, fanning the little bits of dirt out of his hair with my wings. "Wow. That was Ganondorf, the Gerudo King!"

"Yeah," he said tersely, picking up his shield from where it had fallen. "Ganondorf." He went over to the moat and peered down into it. "Yup." He threw off his sword and shield, diving in. I saw immediately what he was going for, and helped him locate the big blue ocarina sitting on the bed of the moat.

As soon as he touched it, his eyes glassed over. "Great," I groaned. This was a new one. He slowly floated onto his back, eyes closing, arms clutching the ocarina to his chest. With a sigh, I managed to keep him afloat until he came back, thrashing out of the water and reattaching sword and shield.

"What was that?" I demanded, as he started jogging into Hyrule Castle Town.

"Had a vision," he answered, shortly. "Zelda taught me a song."

"Great," I sighed. "So, where next? The castle? She's not even there anymore! Now what do we do?"

There was no answer, and not really any need for him _to_ answer. He was headed straight for the mask shop. I rolled my eyes, following in his wake. Honesty was one of his infernal weaknesses. Why the hell he felt the need to pay back that creepy, slick salesman was beyond me. Of course, with five hundred rupees, he could spare fifty.

"We need," he said, surprising me, "to play a song in the Temple of Time."

Suddenly it made sense, and I gasped, stopping in surprise and almost getting slammed in the shop door. Zelda had said that the Temple of Time was the opening to the Triforce, to the Sacred Realm, and that the key to it was the "Ocarina of Time"—clearly this blue monstrosity stuffed into Link's belt. So we would play a song in the Temple of Time, opening the void to the Sacred Realm… and return the three Spiritual Stones that way.

As he walked up to the counter, I suddenly thought of something, angrily. "Hey!" He ignored me, and I slipped into his hat, fuming as he talked to the shop owner. When it seemed like the transaction was winding down, I came back out. "I wonder," I said, "if we should pay a visit to Lon Lon Ranch."

Link shivered, handing his fifty Rupees to the shop owner, who thanked him profusely and handed him a weird-looking mask with an eye on the front. "Bye." We walked out of the shop, back into Hyrule Castle Town. "No, Navi."

"Why not?" I demanded. "You did that guy Talon a favor, right? You don't know what's going to happen when you open the Sacred Realm—this might be your last chance! He might give you a free cow or something, for helping him!"

"Oh, boy," Lin k answered, dryly, and I giggled, both of us knowing that I'd been joking. Where would he put a cow, anyway?

I knew why he was hesitating, of course. It had nothing to do with being in a hurry to finish his quest, or even just that he didn't care about getting a reward. The look on his face told me everything: he wasn't sure if he wanted to meet the little girl who'd so terrified her father, a grown man. I shivered in laughter, remembering. _"I messed up, leaving Malon behind like that_," he'd said, face pale and sweating. _"I'm really gonna catch it now!"_ Then he'd dashed out of Hyrule Castle, leaving a dust cloud behind almost violent enough to swirl me into the moat. Link had watched, his face a mixture of horror and disgust.

That was the thing about Link, though: since he hardly ever told me what was going through his brain, I had become very good at reading his fears. Being a brave kid, he was always hesitant to admit when he was scared. For instance, I knew for a fact that the Gold Skulltulas we'd been collecting terrified the living daylights out of him: but his chivalrous nature, of course, had long ago determined that we would find and kill all hundred of the damn things, even if his whole body started trembling at the sound of them.

And right now I could tell, beyond a doubt, that the thing he feared most in the world was going up to that ranch and facing that innocent-looking little girl. Experience also told me that with the right words, I could get him there quicker than anybody's business by goading that fear.

"Huh," I remarked, as he leaned against the shop, face more pensive than usual. "Well, if you don't feel like you can handle that Malon girl, I guess we'd better get going to the Temple of Time."

He turned his inscrutable blue eyes to me. "After all, you probably shouldn't run the risk of getting in trouble with that girl like you did with Princess Ruto," I added, quite blandly. He turned white. "Zelda left you with an awful important job, after all."

Link drew himself up to his full, imposing height of three foot six and glared at me. "Navi, I am not afraid of that girl."

"Oh, so you _were_ afraid of Ruto?" I challenged, and he started stomping away from the mask shop. Towards the exit of town.

"No!" he snapped. "I'm not afraid of anything!"

I followed after him, grinning.


	3. Finally, Someone You Can Count On

Here, dear friends, is that chapter in which this fic turns a little darker. It is part of my growing and somewhat indignant effort to explain that given the context of all the females in the game, it's a really sick joke to pull "Sheik is Zelda" on poor Link. And as Obi-Wan once said, a lot of things depend greatly on our own point of view: hence why I don't consider this AU.

* * *

Chapter Three: Finally, Someone You Can Count On

* * *

Clearly, it all occurred to Link in one fell swoop. He'd been betrayed. I saw it on his face.

Ganondorf came forward, cackling madly. "Kid, you really saved me some trouble! Sure, I could've killed all those Gorons, but I never would've gotten the stone from them. And there was no way in hell that creepy little fish would release her precious engagement ring to me, even if I'd figured out where that big fish was hiding his treasure. There's just something about my manner people don't like. But I don't like killing unless I have to do it."

Link stood his ground in front of the Altar of Time, gigantic sword dangling awkwardly from one hand, his shield drawn, face whiter than I'd ever seen it. I swallowed, flitting bravely near his shoulder. If he was going to face this one down, so would I. But even as fear gripped my stomach, anger burned in my brain. Someone would pay for this evil trick, and right now Zelda was first on my list.

Ganondorf sighed contentedly, clearly in no hurry. "Nice of that princess brat to give you the Ocarina and that stupid mournful song, don't you think? Two more things I couldn't have gotten on my own. And now, if you'll excuse me…"

He stepped towards us, smirking. Link stood like a stone, scowl deepening. As Ganondorf moved to come around us, to enter the void behind the Altar, Link sidestepped, blocking the way. "Oh, come on. Is that really how it's going to be?" the Gerudo King said exasperatedly. "Kid, let me tell you something. I could kill you right now. You know it. I know it. That brat of a princess knew it. That's why she fled with her Sheikah bodyguard: I killed her gutless father in front of her, and if that white-haired dominatrix hadn't thrown her Deku Nut at me just when I was distracted, I would've killed her, too. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. They were lucky."

His voice became somewhat less scornful, and I gulped. "Kid. I don't want to kill you. I really don't. I got respect for your guts, and I got sympathy for losing your dream, for the way that girl pumped up your hopes, made you think you could be a hero. But if you don't move, you're going to die."

Link lifted his little chin, blue eyes cool. I felt a sudden thrust of affection come through me, and flitted down to his shoulder. This was the end. "Try and come past me," he said in his little voice, with barely a quiver of fear.

There was a pause as Ganondorf shook his head. "All right." He raised a hand, and in a flash Link was thrown aside, crumpling to the ground. I whizzed to him, barely noticing that Ganondorf was stepping into the Sacred Realm.

"Link!" I cried. But then I noticed he was breathing, eyes closed, muscles relaxed. He was just unconscious. What was going on?

"See you on the other side, kid," said Ganondorf's voice from behind me, and before I could even scream, a white light filled the air.

* * *

I hovered by Link's side, watching his face. It had been a very long wait. Fairies didn't operate on the same plane of time or reality as Hylians, or even Kokiri: we didn't age, or change form over the years. We might be headstrong and emotional, but we were also patient. Time didn't really have any effect on our consciousness. And while it bothered me that Link was going to be so rudely awakened, I now knew that it was his destiny.

"Okay," I sighed to Rauru. "I think it's time, don't you?"

The man nodded gravely, and stretched out a hand towards Link. "Hero of Time! Awaken!"

Link's eyes flashed open, and a sudden gladness shot through me. His eyes looked exactly the same as they had seven years before. With a groan, he levered himself up, eyes closing briefly. I knew precisely what must be running through his mind, seeing as his last conscious memory was of Ganondorf pretending to kill him.

"Hero!" said Rauru, but more gently. "You are in the Sacred Realm."

As he continued, I watched Link's face. I myself had been watching him get older all along, so he didn't really look _changed_ to me, so to speak. But, in retrospect, he definitely looked different than he had. What a surprise that was going to be for him.

"It was your destiny," Rauru was intoning, "to enter this Sacred Realm after Ganondorf, seven years ago. The Triforce was split, and you now possess one-third of its power." He leaned forward ominously, grandeur somewhat displaced by the ridiculous mustache obscuring his face. "Your gift, Hero, is _courage_."

I swooped up and down, unable to bear it any longer. "Look at yourself, Link! You're all grown up!"

Link stretched out a hand, stared at it for a moment; his gaze moved up his arm, down his chest, to his new boots. He touched his ears for a moment, clearly wondering where the earrings had come from. I wasn't about to tell him; everything else he seemed to be taking in stride. What a great kid.

Rauru spoke again, his every word dripping with doom and fate. I hated him when he was pompous like this. "Hero: you must aid Princess Zelda and the other sages in their quest to retake another third of the Triforce from Ganondorf. Only after you cleanse the five Temples will Hyrule be ready to throw off the King of Evil's rule and be beautiful once more." He droned for a few more moments, Link listening intently. I sighed, flitting around the shafts of light; I'd heard this all before, and it never got any better.

It had been destiny that made Zelda do what she did. I knew that now, and my bitterness had long faded: Rauru had explained it a hundred times to me, if not more, especially in his more bored phases. Why Link had to remain trapped, unconscious, in the Sacred Realm until he was an adult; why Zelda had seemingly fled from Hyrule just as she was needed; why one of the Sheikah would be aiding Link; why Zelda would eventually pretend that she'd been that Sheikah all along. All of the deception was necessary to fulfill the prophecy of the Hero of Time: and Link didn't need to know the hows or the whys behind any of it.

"Go forth, Hero!" cried Rauru, raising his arms to confer the Medallion of Light upon Link. "Go forth, and save Hyrule!"

The next thing I knew, Link and I were both standing in the Temple of Time, floating motes of dust sparkling in the light that shafted down from the vaulted windows. "Well, we're back in the Temple of Time," I murmured in his ear. "But has it really been seven years?"

Link looked around, face despondent, the Master Sword drooping from his hand. His adult face wasn't any more difficult to read than his child face: he was at a loss for what to do next. "Zelda… Zelda knew of this prophecy, Navi?" I marveled at his voice: no longer the voice of a child, it was steeled, calm, and low. The voice of a Hero.

"Yes!" I answered, trying to sound as obnoxiously cheerful as possible. "She figured out that you were going to be the Hero of Time, and that she had to leave you in charge!"

"So she played me into the scheme," he murmured, face growing dark. I started as he glared at me. "Did you know, too?"

I trembled for a moment; I hadn't expected this. Link had not been the most intuitive kid, and clearly his intelligence had improved with age, conscious or not. Thank the goddesses I wasn't actually a conspirator in this drama. "No! Of course not! Rauru explained it all to me while you were in the Sacred Realm."

His face didn't lessen in anger at all; if anything, it darkened further. "Well… whatever they want me to do, I guess I'd better do it. To save Hyrule." His voice was bitter, and I swallowed, feeling a wave of guilt rush over me. He knew there was something below the surface of his duties: that the others were sitting back and letting him do all the work. But like a hero, he would accept it.

Link stepped forward, walking away from the Altar of Time. Knowing what was coming, I didn't follow: and as I expected, a soft thump came from behind us. He paused, his sixth sense clearly kicking in; then he whirled, expression fierce, shield and sword prepared.

"Hero," said the slight young Sheikah. Link's face changed, and he stared, confused. I could feel him wavering between suspicion and awe. "I am Sheik, sole survivor of the Sheikah."

The last word apparently rang a bell, though Link's face didn't lose all of its suspicion. "You have been ordered by the Sage of Light to cleanse Hyrule's Temples of evil," continued the Sheikah in a bell-like tenor, his arms crossed calmly, shaded red eyes showing no emotion. "I am here watch over you and help you, if you so wish."

In the space of a moment, Link's entire posture had changed, and in my mind I was quickly constructing his thoughts, too. This young man, whoever he was, seemed confident and unassuming, yet powerful. I hadn't yet met him, had only heard Rauru's descriptions of the Sheikah, and had to admit that I was impressed. I could see Link's mind racing. "All right," he said, voice trying to sound indifferent, and therefore betraying his clear and enormous curiosity. "What do I do?"

Sheik moved toward us, footsteps making no noise whatsoever in the vast, echoing space. "As Rauru has undoubtedly told you, you must cleanse evil from the five Temples of Hyrule." He quickly listed where each temple was located. "Unfortunately, equipped as you are, you cannot even enter the first temple, that which is located near your old home." He turned slightly, eyes moving to the west. "In the Sheikah village, Kakariko, you will find a weapon that suits your purposes."

Link's mouth was almost hanging open, and I quickly buzzed beneath it. He cleared his throat, blinking. Here, it seemed, was the figure who could restore all of Link's confidence in himself. "Hero: it may seem, at times, that your destiny is harsh—that you will face hardships and pains vastly unearned." His voice grew lower, quieter, yet more powerful in emotion. "But I promise you, Hero, that you will succeed where others would fail, and that through all of it, I will be there to guide you. May we meet again soon."

He stepped backward quickly. "No!" Link shouted, but it was too late. A flash lit the air, and when our eyes cleared once more, the Sheikah had gone.

Link stood for a moment, blinking in the light, face very blank. "Well?" I asked. "Ready to go to Kakariko Village?"

After a moment, he looked at me and took a deep breath. I could see the new resolve growing on his face: a mixture of fear, courage, and—above all—the wish to impress. "Yeah. I am."


	4. A Real Friendship

You may have noticed that I keep paraphrasing Sheik and other characters. Screw good form, the Japanese-to-English translations just don't do this game justice sometimes.

In retrospect I also picked a wonky title for this fic because it doesn't mean what I actually intend it to mean. All it was supposed to mean was that Link has a serious deficit of male role models in his life, and a serious overdose of scary females.

* * *

Chapter Four: A Real Friendship

* * *

"Poor kid," I said sympathetically, circling Link's head once before landing on his hat. "That must have been terrible."

"Mm-hmm," was the only reply, as usual. We'd left little Link of the Gorons behind in Goron City, talking frantically to the shop owner (probably about his namesake). How awful that must have been, to watch every one of his friends and family members disappear, ostensibly eaten by a dragon. In a way it reminded me of that young girl at Lon-Lon Ranch…except that the little Goron was somewhat less formidable.

It was good, then, that Link had it in his power to aid the Gorons and help the boy get back his father again. As he probed at the statue, trying to find a handhold to pull it away from the wall, I mused that there may be no reward in this for Link himself. Sure, Hyrule would be saved, and everyone would be able to go back to living a normal life. But what was a "normal" life, for a boy who'd had seven years—a very crucial seven years, at that—stolen from his life? Skipping straight from boyhood into manhood had been rough on Link. He'd never tell anyone that, but I could sense it, especially when we saw other children. The longing on his face to be a boy again, to be one of the Kokiri (even one without a fairy) was obvious, and intense.

"Hah!" he said triumphantly, as the statue finally scraped back from the wall, and a blistering heat rolled out from the opening behind it. Immediately beads of sweat stood back from his forehead. Clearly, this was the route into Death Mountain.

"Guess that's what the little Goron gave you a tunic for, huh?" I said, and he nodded with a sigh, pulling the tunic from his satchel and slipping it over his Kokiri-colored garb. In we went.

Craters steamed; lava boiled; the cracked rocks eked black smoke. It was a miniature version of hell, though clearly someone had been here before. A bridge had been built from one boulder to the next, part of it collapsed. The cavern in the wall, on the other side of the bridge, was obvious to the naked eye, square and clearly ancient. "That must be the Fire Temple! How do we get to it?" How would _he_ get to it, I meant. Not that I would go across without him, but…

It was a no-brainer. The Hookshot appeared, and practically before I could catch up, Link was across the gap in the bridge, jogging towards the cavern. I hadn't even noticed the wooden spar hanging above the bridge. It was rare occasions like this that I was glad he was the brains of the organization.

Link suddenly stopped dead, and I plowed straight into the back of his head. Dazed, it took me a moment to rise and peek around him. It was the Sheikah again, perched easily on the rickety bridge, seemingly no less aware of the flaming hot lava bubbling and spewing around us than he had been of the shrubbery and rocks gracing the entrance to the Forest Temple. Where did he _come_ from?

"Hero," he said, expressionless, arms folded.

Link's mouth opened once, closed, then opened again. "Sheik," he said, a little weakly, stepping forward. I could see it burning in his eyes again, the same as last time: he was desperate to know more about the other, to ask the Sheikah questions, and to finally get a straight answer.

There was something more, too; I watched him in the instant between his speaking and Sheik addressing him once more. Link involuntarily straightened, hand going to his belt to finger his Kokiri knife, the other hand resting on his waist; his posture improved, his brows lifted (to look far less brooding but a little cool), and he drew in a breath, chest expanding. _That was it!!_

This was why Link sometimes tossed in the night and briefly muttered the other young man's name; why his eyes lit at the sight of him. It wasn't a mere wish to have a friend, but rather a boyish, ungallant, and thoroughly primal urge to impress someone else! To compete, to compare skills and work together towards a goal, perhaps showing off a bit too much on the way.

For my part, I felt as if Link were entirely excused from having such thoughts, especially since he himself probably didn't even know it. After all, who could compete with the Hero of Time? Link had always been different, ever since coming to live with the Kokiri—but even afterwards, he'd surely felt alienated. This unassuming young man, lithe, watchful, and clearly highly skilled (part ninja, was a better way to put it) naturally represented for Link the first person whom he could see on his own level.

In addition to that… he was also another _boy_. Link had always been forced to associate with sometimes unnervingly forward females since a young age, and I personally had never seen him pal around with another male, whether his own age or older. Hylian men, in my experience, were not usually the most intelligent of beings, nor the bravest, nor the most ambitious, and Link had felt no need to befriend any of them. Darunia had been the first and last male Link was able to look up to.

The thoughts had all-too-quickly flitted through my mind when Sheik spoke. "This is something that grows over time: a true friendship, a feeling in the heart that becomes stronger over time. You have felt it, haven't you?"

Link sucked in another breath, never taking his eyes from Sheik's face. The red eyes looked impassively back for another moment—then suddenly warmed, as the Sheikah stepped forward. "The passion of friendship," he said, very softly, "often blossoms into a righteous power… and through that, you will know which way to go."

Magic words, to the boy on whose shoulder I sat. Or rather, I should say, the man: for at the very moment, Link's brows had drawn together, his shoulders had straightened, and he looked, for all the world, like a man whose greatest wish had been satisfied.

"This song, the Bolero of Fire, is dedicated to the power of that friendship," said the Sheikah, and Link nodded, obviously trying to appear quite cool… but just as obviously affected. As the two of them pulled out their respective musical instruments, I flitted away for a moment, to watch. Link's eyes were fixed on Sheik: not even so much his hands, fingers delicately plucking the strings of his harp, as his face. Eyes closed and expression half hidden but already inscrutable, the young man swayed to their song, either blissfully unaware or relatively satisfied with the unintentional spell he was casting over the Hero of Time.

As the last strains of the song died away within the cavern, and as they both stowed their instruments, Link stepped forward, closer to the other young man than he ever had before. Something told me he was about to try and speak: yet he wouldn't have the chance.

I was right. Sheik tilted his head, ever so slightly: the mild disapproval this movement projected was evidently magnified to our mutual companion, who paused and stood rock-still. But when the Sheikah spoke, there was no hint of anything but warmth. "Link… we'll meet again."

Link's jaw dropped, his eyes opening wide, and I could see him on the verge of shouting something as the other young man drew back. No Deku Nut this time, though: when Link ran forward, a burst from the lava below us suddenly sent a wall of fire shooting upwards. When it subsided, the Sheikah was, of course, gone.

This time it took much less for Link to get himself under control. He'd been denied Sheik's further explanation and company four times now, after all, and one could only assume he was getting used to it. Jaw firming, he just sighed and started walking towards the entrance to the temple, not even bothering to look back. One of Link's greater skills was in concentrating so fiercely on a task that he forgot to think about why he was even doing it.

Then again, maybe he was thinking about _something_: there were three more temples to cleanse after this… three more opportunities, maybe more…


End file.
